Part II

I feel that I was rushed earlier today when I was writing about J.  I think it had a lot to do with the fact that my computer was freezing up every other minute.  I hate working with a VPN, but that is not my focus for today.  One year ago, J decided to stop drinking. It was not a ultimatum or something I forced on him.  After one, long, painful, and eventful evening at the D and our home, J made the decision on his own to stop drinking. He has said this before and gone about a month and then decide to start again.  He always has said that he wished he could be the person who could only have one beer and stop, but he is not.    I really feel I need to put it out there and say that J was not a person that woke up every day and drank, nor did he drink every day....just a disclaimer that he wasn't drunk all the time.

The first few days were rough, for me at least. It was hard knowing I would be traveling for work and not knowing what was happening back at home. It t a took a lot of open communication and J earning my trust back.   I honestly think I stressed out more than J.  He went to counseling and I think he really opened up to learn about himself and as to why he drank.  He was trying to numb pain from previous things.  He decided not to give Peyton's mom any more ammunition or power.  He decided all of his bad decisions and bad things that have happened to him were all when he had been drinking.  Thank goodness he was sober when he met me!

We just changed how we do things. At first I didn't really drink around him, but we talked and he told me that I shouldn't quit drinking just because he couldn't drink.  I just don't drink as much and that is fine with me.  All summer J drank club soda and lime (he named this his NV drink....for Non vodka.)  I think I was more worried about other people pressuring him to drink, but his family and friends have been so supportive.  For our wedding, I made sure they could get non alcoholic champagne for our toast and NA beer for J.  On our honeymoon he drank all vigin frozen drinks and found Beck's NA which he really likes.  NA beer is more expensive than regular beer, but I have no problem spending the money for him.

A year later he isn't phased and I am not as hovering over what he is ordering.  I know when he is down at the river with his brother and brother in law (who drink liberarlly) he will be fine.  I know when he is hanging out with old friends, he will be fine.  I also know that when times are hard, he will make it through. Even though he will say, I could really go for a beer right now.  I know that he isn't going to through this last year away.  I am so proud of him and we had a delicious dinner at Black Finn with some good friends to celebrate!