When you are in the dating stages, all you want is for the child to like you, because in most cases if the child doesn't like you, the relationship is doomed. As the relationship progresses, you only hope that in due time you will be on the same level of importance to your significant other as the child. And now once married, you hope that you can be as much of a family as if this was the family you biologically created. I think sometimes I have the best of both worlds. We have Peyton every other weekend and will soon have him every other week in the summer. It is nice that we have every other weekend to be newly weds and enjoy this stage of our marriage before we have our own kinds, and I love our weekends being a family of 3. However, I am still getting used to the stress of the back and forth and I know it has to stress an 8 year old out as well.
Friday, I took off work from Ann so that J and I could pick up Peyton for our weekend. We had nothing too exciting planned, which I have learned is ok too. However, we received a call from Peyton's mom when we were at our exit. He was crying and did not want to come with us. I was so confused....we had had such a fun weekend before, going to the hockey game and what not. He left us happy.....who knows what happened,. Maybe a bad day at school....maybe he wanted to stay with his brothers....I don't know. However, I was instantly hurt. I always wonder if it is me.... I am not going to hash out the details, but just now this caused a huge fight with J. I sometimes do not agree with the way he handles things. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and he needs to learn to think before he speaks. We wound up getting Peyton saturday and he was his happy self. J and I are repairing some damage to our relationship. Being a step mom is hard..... I love Peyton more than I ever thought I could. I wanted to end on a happy note and share one of my favorite pics from our wedding day.
aw - that is a GREAT pic :) Isn't it crazy how much getting married changes things? And you don't really realize that going in because you think you've been living together, know each other, how could it be different. But it comes with a whole new set of expectations and roles to fulfill. You guys will figure it out. Everyone says the first year is the toughest, but I don't think there is a formula for it. It's all about the circumstances. I can definitely see how adding a step-child into the mix would complicate things exponentially. Hang in there and continue to enjoy each other :)
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